Monday 31 January 2011

Bus to Confidence

Step, got it. Step, got it. Step, got two. Step, got two again. Whoo. This is amazing.
Johnny loved this town. He played this game at home all the time, but here it was just so much more fun, with all the chewing gum constellations on the pavement. Step - and another one. It was practically impossible to lose here. He kept on jumping from foot to foot.
“Wow.” He put both feet on the ground and ran to the grass. “Look at all these seeds here.” He picked up a Cadbury paper and smelled it. The stingy scent of chocolate and syrup. He took a deep breath and then tucked the paper neatly between three clusters of grass, putting a bit of soil on top of it. “Now you can blossom, sweety.”
He looked further ahead. He had never seen something like that before. Quickly he ran over to a bottle of cider. Yes, bottles he knew, even this size. But the name on it wasn’t anything like they had at home. “Cider.” Was that the brand?
A girl walked by. She was dressed really strangely. Jeans as big as his Mum’s, but the girl was skinny and pale. Not really pale with all the black in her face. The jacket also seemed to be three times too big for her. He sighed. She must be a very poor girl. It gave him some reassurance that not all the people in “Confidence” were rich and wealthy.
He took the bottle and moved on, playing his game down the street. A strange music caught his ear. He peered into the distance, where the sun was about to disappear behind the chimneys. The smoke that came out of the roofs was just like the one surrounding the dump in his backyard. A black car drove by with a dark man inside. The music became louder as it approached. The beat kept repeating constantly; what a stupid thing to do when there are so many different tunes.
Right behind the car was a bus just like the one he had arrived in. This was such a strange place the bus to Confidence had dropped him off.

By Nico Lehmann, DMU, Leicester

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I'm sure this story could develop even more.
I tried to change some criticism about character. Does it work now?